June

So it's June again. It seems no matter how my life falls apart and somehow comes back together that the earth keeps spinning. I've been reading a lot of memoirs about depressed women, and in finding that my experiences were not the unique I wonder what do I have to really express...what should I write about. I'm lucky.
I was lying in bed last night, and I told my husband that "I feel like I'm starting to unravel a little." and he just said "It's okay, your whole life is in flux it happens." My brain just screamed "ARE YOU SURE?!?!?!?" But I guess he's right. I graduated with my certificate in Secondary Education English to almost no celebration. I only have two classes to take until I have my Masters Degree and I'm waiting so I can get hired...My dog, my little daisy has to have hip surgery (FHO) on both hips. My health is a mild train wreck which is nothing new.
I feel like I fell out of Grad School. Like I was just spewed back into my life with little instruction on what to do.
For all of those who don't teach. There are no jobs in the NE. They are laying off in almost every district. At most I can hope to be a substitute. I am 7-12 certified. Two years of my life where I did NOTHING but school and now it's just like "ugh - now what".
I am very aware of how lucky I am to have a roof over my head, and a husband who is sweet and supportive. But I don't like being unemployed. I don't like not knowing what will happen when I wake up. This does not feel like and adventure to me. This is scary as shit.